I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
