I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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