What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you never un-have a 4some
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
