All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
