he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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