you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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