A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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