Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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