who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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