What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
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