Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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