I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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