Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Randomize
