You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
