doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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