I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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