he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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