shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
