Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
