I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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