p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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