My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
