its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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