If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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