I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He shit in the fireplace
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