mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
