Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
