I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
