I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
