Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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