Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
