you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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