I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
