i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
