paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
