:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
