I hate all girls vehemently.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize