Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
