this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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