I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
