What did we do last night that was yellow?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
