He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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