So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We got so high we made milksteak
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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