is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize