She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
