I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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