I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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