am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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