People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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