we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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