My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
