Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize