There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No subtext here. People are naked.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
