Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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