Yo dont text me then not text me
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
