just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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