Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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