3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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