You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
