he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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