If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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