TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
