i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
