is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize