I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
