and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
